Have you ever felt like you're doing your best to live for God, but you still keep falling short? Instead of making every life decision for myself, I do my best to give the reigns up to God + let Him be in full control. Sometimes though I don't get the answers when + how I need them and my rope of hope unravels. I feel like I'm at a magic show where the magician has the plates spinning on the sticks. He runs back and forth spinning each plate to keep them balanced so it doesn't crash + burn.
That's how my life feels right now. I am that magician running hopelessly back and forth spinning every plate waiting on God to show up + show out. Some plates come and go fast. He answers them in a timely manner. Sometimes He leaves a plate going round + round for what seems like a lifetime. I get so tired + frustrated calling out to Him to rescue me from exhaustion that comes with spinning the plate.
I go to Him with...
WHY haven't you fixed this?
WHY isn't this working out?
WHAT am I doing wrong?
WHY does it feel like you're punishing me?
WHAT did I do?
And then these thoughts pour into my mind..
Add the word (MAYBE) before each sentence…
-God didn't plan for me to run back + forth twisting each stick.
-He expected me to bring Him my situation.. leave it at the cross + walk away.
-He expects me not to pick it back up.
-He is waiting till my plate crashes to come into the situation to put the pieces back together.
-That’s the only way I can see the magnitude of His glory.
-I don't see the extent of work He's been doing behind the scenes.
-I don't see the hearts He's changing in the process
-I don't see Him growing another person in faith while I'm on hold.
-I don't trust.
-I get tunnel vision.
-This big situation to me is a small piece to the puzzle I haven't finished yet.
-I'm not prepared for the next step.
-I need to seek Him more + harder than ever before
-How something should work out, won't work out.
-I stepped ahead. I went on my own path + not God’s.
-I walked out of the shield of His protection + have to face the consequences.
-This will happen. Or it won't.
MAYBE... all I need to do is sit down, shut up, + wait. [with a joyful heart]
You might hit a dead end. Your path may be very curvy + rugged. BUT...
Your story is beautiful. It may be broken or unwritten.
But God wants you to be beautifully broken so He can restore you with knowledge.
Instead of dwelling on the things that are going wrong, it helps to write down or think of all the things that are going right in your life. Family, health, opportunities, friends, fresh air…the list goes on.
Insert“Your Name”before each story on the sentences below
Colleen’s story will impact people.
Colleen’s story will have a beautiful ending no matter what you have or are going through
Colleen’s story will matter in the long run
Don't hide your brokenness or weakness. Expose them to God’s light. Let Him shine on you. Bask in His presence. Let Him heal you. Let Him use you for His glory.
Sometimes on our darkest days we feel His presence the most.
Sometimes on our brightest days His presence seems afar.
Until that day comes, hold on + trust.
This was an excerpt from my Jesus Calling devotional that I read after I wrote this + I wanted to share! If you don't have a copy of this book I HIGHLY recommend it! I wrote this post lying in bed unable to sleep January 10th... Then when I woke this was my reading for January 11...I felt like God wrote this exact passage for me. This is my favorite devotional book I have ever owned!
XO Colleen Cashio
TRUST ME by relinquishing control into My hands. Let go, and recognize that I am God. This is My world: I made it and control it. Yours is a responsive part in the litany of Love. I search among My children for receptivity to Me. Guard well this gift that I have planted in your heart. Nurture it with the Light of My Presence.
When you bring Me prayer requests, lay out your concerns before Me. Speak to Me candidly; pour out your heart. Then thank Me for the answers that I have set into motion long before you can discern results. When your requests come to mind again, continue to thank Me for the answers that are on the way. If you keep on stating your concerns to Me, you will live in a state of tension. When you thank Me for how I am answering your prayers, your mind-set becomes much more positive. Thankful prayers keep your focus on My Presence and My promises.""
"How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog-it's here a little while, then it's gone." James 4:14
"Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart." Colossians 4:2
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